Nothing to do with energy, but EVERYTHING to do with your personal finances (a bad decision here will make the Energy Crisis seem like a sneeze in the middle of the Divorce Swine Flu).
So you want to get married... or your child wants to get married. I could start with asking what's your definition of marriage, or question your knowledge on the history of marriage, or more to be more pointed - family law... but I will assume that either you or your child is in love! and everything is right with the world...
Before getting married, have you read the family/marriage/divorce laws of the state you plan to reside in? Have you made contingencies for understanding the laws of states you might live in the future? Of course not! People in the throws of love are not thinking clearly - they are suffering from a benign psychosis from which they will eventually become cured. (And marriage is THE cure.)
We all read the papers. We all watch with incredulity as people like Paul McCartney spend more time in divorce court than they spent married only to end up paying $100 million for the "mistake" of falling in love (we all get the circulated emails detailing the "dollars per tryst" McCartney et al paid out and how much better a deal Elliot Spitzer got).
Unfortunately, the lesson learned here is often not to be more careful, but... "Wow, if I marry a wealthy person I can score a big payday!" Sorry, I was being P.C... the truth is that that is the lesson 99.9% of the time.
But what if you have nothing? OK. Will that always be the case? Have you considered the impact and temptation of your success on your future spouse? Money has destroyed many a marriage and home. Every monied target of divorce is surprised when this hits them - right between the eyes - after a decade or 2 of killing themselves to provide for their family. They come home one day to a process server, and a sentence of YEARS dealing with the opposing divorce attorney, forensic accountants, consultants, judges... $Kaching! For this examination before trial... $ Kaching! for that hearing... $Kaching! "I'm a lawyer, and you need a forensic accountant"... The cash register just keeps ringing for these blood sucking scum - all at the expense of YOUR CHILDREN!
(I always ask my wealthy clients a few "set-up" questions when discussing this very tough subject: "So, you are going to be the bread winner? Congrats. Big responsibility. What are your spouse's responsibilities? Oh, you are going to have a full time nanny and a cleaning person? Great! It is good to be the king. I see why your betrothed is marrying you... now tell me again... Why are you marrying them?" Then I get a bunch of "nice", "wonderful", "caring", etc... Then I gently remind them that "in marriage/family law there is NO REQUIREMENT for a spouse to continue being any of those those niceties"... "but there is plenty of Law requiring you to continue to be the provider both during AND after the marriage". You should see the look on their face at that moment... Especially when I point out that "in Florida the non working spouse can take up a passionate relationship with their personal trainer, and that you will be required to fund that relationship both during AND after your marriage". They frequently leave the meeting hating me - and always the spouse hates me. But the deed is done, and I send them off to the lawyer for their pre-nup. Marriage is business, and if you are to survive this business financially you need to think out 5, 10, 20 years.)
But let us forget the Super Rich. What about the average, Middle Class Millionaire ("MCM")? More than half of these self-made folks will come home one day after killing themselves to provide for their family for 10, 20 or 30 years, only to find their spouse has joined some "support group" that is absolutely, positively intent on destroying your family, or the spouse has developed a substance abuse problem, or the spouse has decided that just don't fill their emotional needs anymore, or has fallen in love with the mail man, or you are just plain sick of each other... (I'd like to spend more time on the politicization or Oprahization of marriage... but suffice it to say that there are political groups and agendas that are doing their absolute best to destroy your marriage and break up your family - they need the money and the political support.)
Enter the Pre-Nuptial agreement. Here's where the history lesson comes in. In the early part of the 20th Century married women had little protection in Family Law. Too, they had limited educational and vocational opportunities (not so today - more than half of college graduates are women). Then women got organized and the pendulum swung HARD the other way, after all there are no "Men's advocates" (just count how many men's magazines there are - now count how many women's magazines. Men should read these before they get married). For a couple of decades women DESTROYED men in divorce court. Just wiped the floor with them. This was supported by the local judiciary and legal community for one simple reason - MONEY $$$$$$$$!!!!!!!
What a source of revenue for a lawyers in a nation with 10X THE NUMBER OF LAWYERS PER CAPITA AS JAPAN, the other big industrial economy, and what a source of political contributions (from the lawyers to the judges. Most local judges are ELECTED, and guess who contributes FAR AND AWAY the vast majority of their campaign contributions? Bingo! The local divorce lawyers.)! It was a "marriage"/rip off made in heaven.
Oh, but markets HATE a vacuum. People started to put off marriage, or not marry at all. Then came the Pre-Nuptial agreement.
40% of people (read MEN. There are dozens of "Bride" type magazines, but have you ever heard of "Groom" magazine? NAFC ) under the age of 40 are not getting married at all, and half of those that marry now do so with an agreement detailing the outcome should the marriage fail, including short circuiting the lesser spouse (in terms of assets or earnings power) from brow-beating the other with onerous legal fees. Seems the people voted with their feet to short circuit what they saw as an grossly unfair disservice of the legal system. What a country! 27 states have enacted the Uniform Pre-Nuptial Agreement Act as controlling law, and every state allows them.
I am not an attorney. Exactly what goes into your pre-nup is between you, your spouse, and your lawyers. But have an agreement. Keep the marriage/divorce industrial complex out of your children's education fund, your daughter's wedding fund, out of your bedroom and your legacy. Help these people to find honorable employment elsewhere by starving them out. Believe me, they deserve it. They would happily take the food right out of your children's mouth. In the scheme of things, they are only 1 or 2 steps below child molester.
Sorry, that one got away from me. They are only 1 step below child molester, not 2 steps...
The various states could easily fix this mess by simply requiring that before a marriage license can be issued a notarized, bona fide pre-nuptial agreement is filed in the county of residence, and by agreeing to be governed the Uniform Pre-Marital Agreement Act... But don't count on that coming to pass. There are just too many special interest groups that profit both financially and politically by the destruction of your family.
Our society desperately needs family units at its base, and EVERYTHING within marriage/divorce law has given people every incentive to avoid marriage and has given the non-financial spouse of high earning or wealthy people EVERY reason to seek a divorce - and a pay day.
WTF is up with that?
Greg